My struggles with being a slave away from my Master

Right now I live with my parents and my Master lives about an hour away.  One struggle that we have is finding time to actually be together.  I am terrified on my parents finding out that I am a slave again.  They invaded my privacy with my previous Master and they were one of the many challenges we face.

We decided that I will announce to my parents that I have a boyfriend after I move out.  But that leaves us struggling for time to be with one another.  And the current world situation isn't helping.  We had our first date about a month ago when my parents were away and it was fantastic.  I just went over to his place and we watched TV and I just spent time in his arms.

Many times over the past 7 months, I have asked myself how do I do it.  Its hard to feel close to someone when you have all of these restrictions.  First, I have a list of rules that I follow and a routine with him.  I ask for every change, I ask to go home from work, I ask for everything that I can.  It's hard for me because I want so much more that I can't have right now.  As a slave, I want to be everything and do everything he wants, but I can't do that right now.

One thing that I find helps me is my diapers.  I have a continual reminder that I am his slave.  I also like all of the little things we do.  Like asking to go home from work or to go to bed.  I send him a video of me peeing in my diaper every morning and then a picture of my wet diaper.  I need those things to feel like a slave. 

When I feel like I belong to him, we call it my slavespace.  I can lose it based on tough situations and it is a long process to get deep into my slavespace.  I also lose it a little bit at work but since that is a part of my routine, it is easy to fall into it again because I can prepare myself mentally for that. 

Our solution to this problem right now is working to be ready to move out.  Then after my lease is up and my parents like him as just my boyfriend, then I will move in with my Master.

As always, I love your comments and I am thankful to all of the new people reading my blog every week.  And I love to hear from you. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction

Hi, I am a slave.  That is who I am as a general picture but I am more than that.  I am a 20 year old healthcare administration college student living in WI.  I also work full time and I wear diapers 24/7/365.  Diapers are my underwear and my bathroom.  And I am working on becoming incontinent. I have the most wonderful Master ever.  Although I can't really call myself a full time slave since I don't live with my Master.  I am a slave at the very core of my being, and I belong in diapers. One thing my Master and I enjoy is assigning me projects to work on.  My last project was researching BDSM and diapers.  I found research for this project challenging since I am not a man, I am not a little, and diapers aren't a punishment or humiliation for me.  So I proposed to my Master that I should start a blog detailing my life as a diaper slave.
Read more

My first time using diapers and my first accidents

My diapering started with pull-ups and then I transitioned into Abena M-4 diapers.  So for this post I will tell you about using both of them. With pull-ups, I could never get a full wetting in.  I tried once, right when I started, and the pull-up leaked all over the bathroom floor.  It was a mess to clean up.  But while I picked out diapers and waited for them to get to my house, I used pull-ups 24/7 because I didn't have any other options.  The 2 brands I used were Certainty by Walgreens and Assurance by Walmart.  I like the Assurance ones better, they are a lavender color with is fun, and they hold more.  Also, I find that the Certainty pull-ups give me a wedgie, and overall they make me feel very unsafe.  As far as changing goes, just pee is straightforward.  I would use wipes for it, it is just easier to clean anything up.  I never had a problem with diaper rashes because I never had the opportunity to stay in them for long. ...
Read more

Being a Slave

Recently, I have been having problems in my environment and following my Master's orders.  My Master and I haven't met in person yet, partly because of the pandemic right now so it is hard for me to completely trust his judgement on a situation he doesn't know but I've learned that he does truly listen and I have to trust his judgement.  It is one of the things I hate about online relationships but we will be fixing that very soon. Anyway, I've fought with my Master about the right thing to do and that he doesn't truly understand my environment.  It's a difficult situation to be in and I wish I had the right answer.  I am wrong that he doesn't understand, because he really tries to best to understand me.  I need to learn how to step away from our argument and look at the situation from my slave headspace.  When I fight with people, I'm can only think about how worried and stressed out I am, and it's hard to break away from it.  But it isn't...
Read more